Sometimes you just have a crappity day. I had one yesterday. A sad wider-family bereavement left me feeling hollow for those closer family who were grieving. And some stuff happened which left me feeling like I was a needy, bitter, sad & unlovable annoyance. I’m prone to this, even though I know that much of it is a lie caused by wonky brain chemistry. On bad days it just bites me on the bum.
When people tell you to think positively when you are in this state, throwing them head-down into a bean-bag or other suitable muffling device seems like an excellent option. Because I know there is so much I have to be grateful for, and the guilty feelings escalate.
But this morning, by some miracle (involving sleep, hurrah), I did feel more positive. And in the shower (one of my best thinking places) I thought I’d like to share 10 cheerer uppers for me-of-wonky-emotions.
- A friend needed me last week. I like being needed. And, for once, I actually felt like I had some words that were useful.
- This man by Embankment tube (tube Tuba man?) made my face light up with joy
- I was supposed to be organising a Murder Mystery party a couple of weekends ago. I printed out all the booklets, posters, introduction, solution etc. And left them in the car, like the twonk that I am. Over 3 hours drive away.So, instead I spent the day writing my own Murder Mystery, based on Allo Allo. And it was a bloody triumph! Because the people involved were so fun, so forgiving, so inclusive and so silly. We laughed so much. There were a lot of rude jokes and classic comedy accents. The actual murder involved Knockwurst, a string of onions and a cuckoo clock. My solution made no sense at all. Nobody cared.
- Through this guest post on my favourite blog, I discovered Esther Emery, whose writing I love too. She lives in a yurt. I one day want to live in a yurt. I probably need to learn to cook first.
- These are three objects I own that are guaranteed to cheer me up.
- A friend was generous and bought the publicity posters for my new theatre show for me.
- Work asked me to go to Alaska in two weeks time. Ken said this was not a positive thing because it was a recipe for Sunny getting eaten by a bear. I tend to be a bit foolhardy on Sunny adventures so this is a wise comment. I am scared of all animals though.
- In the real crescendo of feeling my emotions plummet into the black hole yesterday (or I guess diminuendo), my friend rang. I nearly didn’t answer the phone because I couldn’t face anyone. But she understood what was going on. Just having somebody else really get it makes a lot of the angst melt away.
- The sun was shining when I walked to work today, and I wore my Tigger hat which Lynne made for me and is clearly excellent. People who don’t know me really well think I’m Tigger. I’m much more Piglet (worry worry). And quite a lot Pooh (diets don’t really get a look in). But I like Tigger a lot.
- I had the oddest dream last night. I was at a beach with my school friends and brother, and for some reason I had to hide my bra while we went swimming. So I buried it first in the sand and then under a shrub. This morning when I got up for real, I couldn’t find my bra anywhere. I wonder if I slept-walked and buried it in the back garden…. 🙂